Recently my husband and I taught our oldest son how to tie his shoes. It somehow boosted his confidence, and he wanted to learn how to ride his bicycle. So, after an hour at the park one afternoon, he was riding like a pro. Our daughter is also learning– currently her alphabet. I cannot tell you how many times a day we sing the ABCs or point out letters in books and on signs!
Children are constantly learning. Children learn how to read, how to dress themselves, how to make friends, how to kick a soccer ball.
The same is true for their spiritual lives. Children learn so much from church, from church school, and from their parents. As a convert to Eastern Orthodoxy, I am often amazed at the things that my children intuitively grasp that took me years of research and reading to understand. However, we as parents can not assume that this learning will take place without any instruction or teaching.
Do you remember what Jesus’s disciples asked him? “Lord, teach us to pray.” (Luke 11:1)
Teach us to pray.
Those are profound words. All of us need to be taught–by Christ and by the Church–how to pray. And parents, in turn, teach their children. What a beautiful and fear-inspiring task. We are to introduce our children to prayer, to the way that they approach the living God. Lord have mercy.
Here are a few suggestions for parents as we begin.
Teaching Your Children to Pray
1. Pray Consistently at Home
It is hard to teach children to pray if we are not praying ourselves. Get your family into the habit of gathering in the icon corner twice a day for Morning Prayers and Evening Prayers. (Follow the links to in-depth, practical posts on both of those topics.) When the children understand that prayer is a priority for the family, they will begin to internalize it for themselves.
One quick word here for parents with small children: Family prayer time may feel fruitless and lead to frustration when toddlers try to run away, babies cry, and young children grow squirmy. My children are 6, 3, and 1, so I completely understand! However, I want to encourage you to keep it up. Go to the icon corner whether you feel like it or not. Shorten the prayer if you’d like. But pray. Together. Your children are watching, listening, and absorbing far more than you may think.
Bring them before Christ. That is the very essence of prayer.
2. Point out Prayers in Church
During the Divine Liturgy or Vespers, point out familiar prayers. Say, “We’re singing ‘Lord have mercy’ now. Can you sing along?” Or, “It’s time for the Lord’s Prayer. Let’s pray this together.” As children get older, have them follow along in a book like The Child’s Guide to the Divine Liturgy or your parish’s liturgy book. Encourage them to pray the Prayers before Communion in preparation for the Eucharist.
3. Introduce them to the Jesus Prayer
In the Orthodox Church, one of the simplest yet most profound prayers is the Jesus Prayer.
Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me a sinner.
Children can as young as 2 can be introduced to this prayer and encouraged to pray it during family prayers. Our twenty-two month old currently says, “Mercy” when it is his turn to pray at the end of our Morning and Evening Prayers. Our three-year-old says the entire prayer. They then ask the Lord to have mercy on various family members, friends, etc.
Giving the children this foundational prayer at an early age, and encouraging them to pray it daily, introduces them to the ideas of mercy, repentance, forgiveness, and intercession. How powerful is that!
4. Pray the Lord’s Prayer Together Often
Try to include the Lord’s Prayer every time you have family prayers. When the disciples asked Jesus to teach them to pray, this is what he taught them. The Church, therefore, has followed Christ’s example and teaching by praying his words for centuries. As children get older, talk about the meaning of the phrases. Explore the ideas with them. “What do you think it means when we say, ‘Thy will be done’?” Or, “Why do we ask God to give us our daily bread?”
If your church sings the Lord’s prayer, do so at home. Music helps children (and adults) remember. In the wisdom of the Church, our entire Liturgy is sung–causing the words to penetrate our consciousness and infuse our very beings.
5. Make Prayer a Sensory Experience
Children are sensory learners. When their entire body is involved in something, they are much more likely to remember it. Each time you pray, make it an affair of the entire body.
Sight–Light a candle and look at icons
Sound–Sing the prayers and the troparion of the day
Smell–Burn incense
Touch–Use prayer ropes, venerate the icons with a kiss, allow each child to hold their saint’s icon
Taste–You can give the children a sip of holy water as a way to bless their day
6. Be an Example of Intercessory Prayer
Many families keep a list of people to pray for in their icon corner. These may include family members, church members who are ill or traveling, or those involved in global crises or disasters. Young children are often (rightly) upset by the news. Encourage them to remember those people–refugees, flood victims, the homeless–in prayer. You can pray at that moment and write it down on your list in your icon corner to remember at family prayers.
7. Demonstrate Spontaneous Prayer
Children love to imitate their parents. My husband is a graduate student and spends a lot of time working in coffee shops. One evening my three-year-old daughter picked up a book, a coffee mug, and some pretend glasses and announced, “I’m going to the coffee shop to work!” We cracked up.
Be an example of prayer that your children can imitate. If you are driving down the road and see an accident, pray out loud, “Lord have mercy. Keep your servants safe and help the doctors and other medical workers that will come to help.” If you are taking a walk on a gorgeous fall day, you can make the sign of the cross and pray, “Father, thank you for creating all of this beauty.” Incorporate prayer naturally into your everyday lives.
8. Read Books About Prayer
Finally, there are many fantastic Orthodox children’s books out there about prayer. Here are a few of our favorites:
The Monk Who Grew Prayer introduces children to the idea of continual prayer.
Pictures of God: A Child’s Guide to Understanding Icons beautifully shows the role icons play in prayer.
Under the Grapevine: A Miracle by St. Kendeas of Cyprus shows how saints respond to prayers.
Song of the Talanton uses the musical, rhythmical sound of the talanton to call pilgrims to prayer.
Above all, in order to teach our children to pray, we must ourselves be a student of prayer. St. John Chrysostom said, “For generally the children acquire the character of their parents, are formed in the mold of their parents’ temperament, love the same things their parents love, talk in the same fashion, and work for the same ends.”
In fear and trembling let us pray that we may be saved and so guide our children on the path toward salvation.
What ideas do you have? How do you teach your children to pray?
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(Linked to Faith-Filled Fridays, Sunday Stillness.)
Great tips and truth for us to teach our Children to pray while they’re learning new things about this world. Let’s impart God to them at the early age and let God do His job.
Lovely post! I also made a small icon corner in the children’s rooms so they could pray on their own. Now, as they are older and are leaving for college and to live on their own, a big part of packing is collecting their own personal icons and crosses from their rooms to take with them. (I do miss those days when they were small, learning the prayers in the living room icon corner!).
I love the idea of making small icon corners in each of the children’s rooms. I’m going to have to do this!