Err on the Side of Love

I could feel myself growing angry.  This was the fifth mistake the restaurant had made in the last hour.  I was tired.  My kids were restless.  I wanted to yell.

We were on our road trip to Texas yesterday when we stopped for dinner.  We had been on the road since 8 that morning and were only 3 hours away from our destination.  I was looking forward to a relaxing dinner–well, as relaxing as it can be with three young children!–and then getting in to my sister-in-law’s house ahead of schedule.

But that was just not happening.

A series of frustrating mistakes (though some of them seem a little funny now in retrospect!) led to waiting over an hour for our food.  Every possible mistake that could be made (even busing our table, including our child’s sippy cup, before we had even been given our meal).  And I was working hard to remain calm.

You see, I know what it is like to be on the other side.  I waited tables for two summers during grad school, and I made my share of mistakes.  Many of them make me cringe even now–years later!  I have also been on the receiving end of some pretty hurtful tirades.  I knew that I didn’t want to be that kind of person.

I didn’t want to be the kind of person who would yell at someone else when they were frustrated.  I didn’t want to be the kind of person who could look down on another person or judge them.  I didn’t want to be the kind of person that my kids couldn’t respect.

Instead, I wanted to err on the side of love.

So, I calmly asked to speak with a manager.  When I talked with her, I explained our frustrations without laying blame on our server, as many things were out of his control.  I let her know that we would really appreciate any help she could give us.  She responded immediately.  Our food was on the table in less than five minutes, we were given a free dessert, and our meal was incredibly inexpensive.

At the end of the meal, we thanked both the manager and our server.  And we left a tip that I am sure he was not expecting.  Because that is what love does.

Love keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  Love always hopes.

I don’t share this story to make my husband and I look good.  We are far from perfect.  We need to repent daily, to try over and over to follow the examples of Christ and the saints, to receive grace and renewed strength through the Eucharist.  Instead I share this story as a reminder to us all, especially myself.

Let us treat other people as we want to be treated.  Let us throw away the score sheet and not keep track of what others have done to us.  Let us be happy for others and rejoice in their successes.  Let us react with understanding and grace when they fall short of our expectations.

Let us err on the side of love.

(Linked to Sunday Stillness, Faith-Filled Fridays.)