Why We Have Simple Birthdays

Next week Big Brother turns 6.  I really cannot believe that it has been six years since he was born!  I never thought I would be one of those moms bemoaning the swift passage of time, but here I am.

I remember birthdays when I was younger.  I would invite a couple of friends over for a sleepover where we would eat too much pizza and ice cream, watch movies, and play board games until we fell asleep on our popcorn-encrusted sleeping bags.  And it was awesome.

Now it seems that our culture has shifted.  Kids expect birthday parties with themes, bouncy houses, party favor bags, elaborate food, and more.  Each birthday party should be bigger than the one before, better than the one our neighbors had.

In our house, though, we have simple birthdays.

Why?

Money Does Not Equal Fun

Have you ever watched a small child play outside with a rock and a mud puddle?  We’re talking hours of fun here.  Or, how about a cardboard box?  Kids love turning it into a fort, a cave, a secret hideout, a robot.

We want our kids to stretch their imaginations, to enjoy spending time outdoors, and to have fun in the company of family and friends.  We don’t want them to develop the mentality that more money equals more fun.  This can become an addictive mindset that causes them to always search for the next “greatest thing” instead of being content with what they have.

More is Not Always Better

If you search on Pinterest for “kids party ideas,” you could literally make yourself crazy trying to sift through all of the options.  Make your own mermaid cake, or a Spiderman cake, or Frozen cupcakes.  Design themed party favor bags with “simple” favors that only take hours to make.  Craft memorable invitations.  Create decorations that would wow an interior designer.

And, some moms thrive on this stuff.  They love being able to use their creativity.  Some parents are truly gifted bakers who can pull off a beautiful cake and do so as a gift of love.

But, I would hazard to guess, most of us are not.  Most of us are busy parents who feel pressure to do more for our kids.  But, more is not always better.

We choose to have small birthdays so that we can focus on the child instead of the more.

Love and Money Aren’t the Same Thing

Finally, we don’t ever want our children to think that money equals love.   Our love for them is not at all tied to the amount of money that we spend on them.  Period.

We want our simple, everyday life together to be proof of our love.  The daily meals together, books at bedtime, kisses and hugs, help with homework, walks in the woods, worship at Church, and conversations in the car are evidence of love.

Does that mean I think people who have big birthday parties are trying to buy their children’s love?  Not at all.

It just means that I don’t want our children to feel entitled to a lavish celebration, to feel that if we really loved them we would give them everything they desire.  We want them to rest confident in our love as it has been made manifest in daily life.

So, if we don’t do big birthdays, how do we celebrate?

1. Special Playdates  Big Brother will be taking one friend on a special playdate to an amusement center and a pizza buffet.  The two of them will have a great afternoon playing together and make memories with a shared experience.

2. Dinner with Family and Friends For Sister’s birthday we had her godparents over for a barbeque.  Hamburgers, hot dogs, watermelon, and cake shared around the table made for a fun evening celebrating our little girl.

3. Party at the Park We have had several birthday parties at the park.  We reserve the (free) shelter, put up a few streamers, pass out cake, and watch the kids play on the playground.  Simple, fun, perfect.

4. Alternate Years We have decided to take an every other year approach to birthdays.  Our children have a party where they invite other kids either to our house or to a park on their odd birthdays (first, third, fifth, etc.).  The even years we do family dinners or special playdates.  This keeps things simple, saves a lot of money, and helps our kids know what to expect on their birthday.

And so, I’m looking forward to Big Brother’s birthday.  But, more importantly, he is looking forward to his birthday–small and simple.

(Linked to Thrifty Thursdays, Feather Your Nest Friday, Frugal Fridays, Share the Wealth.)