I am writing this post at 6:30 in the evening, and all of my children are in bed.
This isn’t an accident or a one-time fluke. My husband and I have consciously worked to create early bedtimes for our children. We believe that sleep is important, and so we create habits, routines, and rules that back up that belief. Because we prioritize sleep, we find a way for early bedtimes to work in our family.
Here’s why my kids go to bed (ridiculously) early:
1. It’s Good for Their Health
My children are young, and they need A LOT of sleep. According to their physicians and other sleep experts, my one-year-old and three-year-old should get 12-14 hours of sleep a day. My six-year-old should get 10-12 hours. That’s half of their day! (Check out WebMD’s recommendations for sleep by age here.)
When children do not get enough sleep, their immune systems can become weaker and they can get sick more easily. Also, according to some studies, children who are chronically sleep-deprived can exhibit the symptoms of ADHD. (Note: I am NOT saying that ADHD is sleep related. As a teacher, I have seen many students correctly diagnosed with ADHD for whom medication was absolutely the appropriate route to help them succeed academically and socially at school.) And, studies have also suggested that students who are chronically sleep-deprived can perform two grade levels behind those who are not. That is significant!
2. It’s Good for Their Behavior
I don’t know about your children, but mine can have trouble listening and responding to situations appropriately when they are tired. Case in point: tonight.
Last night our kids stayed up until 8:00 for Sister’s birthday party. It was a special occasion, and I wanted to let them enjoy the evening with their friends. I don’t regret the decision, but we have had our fair share of melt-downs tonight. When children are tired, they don’t have the mental or emotional strength to handle changes of routine, conflicts, or challenges. And so they often act out. (I actually think the same could be said for adults!)
3. It’s Good for Our Mornings
Because I work outside the home as a teacher, we leave the house at 6:45 each morning. In order for my children to get the 12 hours of sleep that they need, this implies an early bedtime.
I want our Morning Routine to be peaceful and unhurried. This is hard to accomplish if I have to constantly remind my children to keep moving or to hurry up. When they have gotten enough sleep, however, they are able to do their chores, get dressed, eat breakfast, pray, and leave the house in good time and good spirits.
Bonus Tip: If you are looking for a resource to help you create and implement flexible morning and evening routines that work for your family, be sure to check out Crystal Paine’s Make Over Your Mornings course and Make Over Your Evenings course. I have taken both and have learned so much! Each course is 14 days and consists of: a short video, a workbook, practical action steps, and encouraging e-mails. I can’t recommend the courses highly enough!
4. It’s Good for Our Marriage
When we became pregnant with our oldest child, my husband and I agreed that we would make a concerted effort to make our marriage a priority. Since our children are in bed early, we have the evenings to spend time together as a couple. We enjoy watching movies for Our Date Night Challenge, catching up on episodes of TV shows that we like, playing board games, or just reading side-by-side on the couch–each engrossed in our own book.
5. It’s Good for My Personal Well-being
I am an introvert who talks to people all day long. I absolutely need my evenings of peace and quiet in order to recharge after the kids go to bed. I also use the evenings to work on my goals. I can write posts for the blog, work on my book, exercise, and read. I am a better mother, a better wife, and a better person because of my calm evenings.
Now, I know that our schedule does not work for everyone. I know that this schedule won’t even work for us in a few years. As our children get older, they will stay up later and have more commitments in the evenings. However, our emphasis of sleep as a priority will not change.
We want to guard their health–physical, mental, and emotional–by giving them the sleep that they need. And that might mean that they go to bed ridiculously early, but I’m ok with that.
How does an evening routine work in your family?
(Linked to Small Victories Sunday, Way Back Wednesday.)
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Good for you! My 17 month old is in bed by 7:30 and sleeps till 6:30 the next morning…with a 2 to 3 hour nap in the middle of the day. I’ve always been a firm believer in children getting enough sleep so love to hear of other parents who agree!
My littlest man is 21 months–such a fun age!
I like to have my kids in bed by 8 and they’re up again by 7:30. I agree, when they are tire they lose any self control they might have had and turn into electrified puddles of emotions! We face some problems though. Dad often doesn’t get home from work until 7 or 7:30. It doesn’t leave a lot of special “dad time”. The other problem is late night services. Pasca and Nativity are obvious exeptions but what about vigils? It leaves us with a difficult choice.
“Electrified puddles of emotion”–I love that! I agree that there are some evenings in which it is hard to go to bed early. We try to keep the days at a minimum, but we also want our kids to understand that some things are worth staying up for. It definitely makes Pascha, etc. very special and memorable!
WOW! I didn’t think I’d ever meet another family who put their kids to bed that early, too. We started with later bed times, but the kids took forever to fall asleep. We gradually moved up bed time until they fell asleep quickly. At times that was as 5:30/6:00pm. My friends and family think we’re nuts, but it gives us more peace in the evenings AND most especially during the day because they’re getting enough sleep.
I’m glad you found a time that works for your family! We get a lot of strange looks when we say that our first grader goes to bed by 6:30 each night. But, I know that it helps him physically, emotionally, and intellectually. So, it’s worth it!
we put our littles to bed at 7-7:30 and they sleep till 7. I LOVE their early bedtime. I hope they go to bed at 7 until they’re 13 😉 Just kidding.
I keep wondering when my oldest son will realize that his bedtime is considerably earlier than a lot of his friends (he’s six right now). So far it hasn’t been an issue. But, I know it will be soon! I plan on enjoying this time thoroughly:)
Sleep is so important! When I taught school, it was obvious which children did not get enough sleep. I had one who could never keep his eyes opened in class. When I asked him about it, he told me he goes to bed after midnight with his older siblings, that little guy was in first grade. Sleep does a body good! Thank you for linking up with Thankful Thursdays.
Oh my goodness! That is so late for a first grader. I sometimes ask my middle school students what time they go to bed, and I’m always shocked by the answers. Kids need so much sleep–even at that age.
My little one goes to bed at 7 for all of those reasons. My husband’s schedule allows her to sleep a little later, but I hate leaving the house without at least some face time with my family, so they get up before I leave for school at 7. We’ve gotten more than a few eye rolls about our early bedtime, but it works really well for us. (Except when it would be nice to sleep in on weekends.)
Amen on the weekends! I am hopeful that they will be able to get themselves breakfast and entertain themselves for a couple of hours here in a few yaers…
My 9 month old is in bed usually around 6:30 and my two year old by 7 while I am getting baby to sleep. She knows that it’s “adult time” and time for mommy and daddy to relax and get stuff done. I guard my “adult time” and hate going out in the evening since that is my only break all day!
I totally agree! Our evenings–either of play or of work–are something I look forward to.
My 21 month old goes down at 7pm and it is wonderful. She still gets up sometimes at night, but she goes straight down at 7pm. Last year at this time she was going to bed between 5:30 and 6:30 and getting up at 7am. She still gets up at 7am (well…5am today, but she had a late night! Ack!). We live on an active campus and sometimes I don’t like missing out on speakers and events, but I do enjoy my quiet evenings.
I’m impressed that you are able to get her to sleep on an active campus! I know that when we were in grad school, it could get pretty noisy around 🙂
My husband and I co-slept with my DD until she was 18 months-old. I encouraged my DD to sleep in her room by sticking to a regular bedtime routine which includes a special one on one time together reading stories. Now my husband and I can have our one on one time together too, which is important to us. For everyone reading, it can get somewhat frustrating when you try everything to get your child to bed early, but just keep on encouraging a routine and the kids will eventually come around😉! If you are reading this post you are already doing something important and I applaud all mommies out there doing their best!
It certainly can be frustrating! I’ve also found that there are some cycles that most kids go through in which they have a harder time going to sleep–when they move to a new bed, when they start a new school, when they go through puberty, etc. It can be tempting to throw up our hands and give up at that point, but remembering the ultimate goal and that “this too shall pass” can be helpful!
That sounds terrific. Are there any sleep training books that u would recommend ? I have a 4 year old and a newborn. 4 year old goes to bed at 7:30pm after her brush + reading routine. TIA
Hi, Drisha! Congratulations on your new little one! I have a few books that I have used with our children, as well as a couple that friends have raved about. Babywise, The Baby Whisperer, and The Happiest Baby on the Block are all good places to start. They all advocate sleep training as a way to help babies learn to self-soothe and fall asleep without props (parent, nursing, etc.). Some of these are considered controversial, so as always, you should be discerning and talk with your pediatrician or nurse practitioner. I hope that helps!
Thanks for posting this* I feel as bad for my daughter when she’s deprived of sleep as when she’s deprived of nutrition.
-another 6:30 bedtime mom
I have 4 kids and the minute they start sleeping through the night (different for each kid but all of them by 6 months) the go to bed at 7. Most people think I’m crazy, but they usually lack an understanding of how much sleep kids really need. My oldest is almost 9 and we just started letting her stay up an hour later every night this summer. I don’t know how people function letting their kids stay up so late. If one of my kids miss a nap I’m usually in tears by the end of the day.
I totally agree, Megan! My youngest is trying to shake off his afternoon nap right now, and I don’t know what we’ll do when we have no more nappers in the house! We do have a quiet time where they read books, etc. in their rooms for an hour and a half, but I’ll miss the nap times.