Hi, my name is Sarah, and I am a control freak.  No, seriously!  I am just about as Type A as they come.

I make yearly and weekly goals, have a morning and evening routine, and plan out my week.  And overall, I think that is a good thing.  God has created me to be organized and structured.  The problem comes when I become so tied to my routines that I miss out on the precious moments that unfold before me–on the unplanned.

I am also a serious introvert.  I need loads of quiet time in order to maintain my sanity!  Again, I think that God has created me with this personality.  He has made me reflective and introspective–both of which are good things.  However, since I am a teacher who spends my days loving and guiding (and talking to!) fourth-graders, I feel pretty “peopled out” when I come home each night.

These traits combine most obviously in the evenings.  I have a routine that the kids and I work through each night to make sure that homework is completed, supper made, lunches packed, showers taken, stories read, prayers prayed, etc.  This routine is carefully timed so that I can have a good two hours of quiet time after they have gone to bed.  I need my quiet!

However, lately God has been teaching me that there are times when I need to “deny myself” for the sake of others.  You know the verse in Luke that says, “If anyone wishes to come after me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross daily and follow me” (Luke 9:23)?  We hear it a lot during Great Lent.  So, I tend to think of it most frequently in terms of fasting and other forms of self-denial during Lent.

This is a completely accurate way to interpret the verse, but I think that we can be called to deny ourselves in other ways as well.  These are often small, daily acts of putting aside our own interests or inclinations (like the desire to have a quiet evening!) for the sake of others.

Here is:

What “Denying Myself” Looks Like Right Now

1.Saying “Yes” to Walks in the Park

Each day, my oldest children (Andrew and Ella) and I walk by the Boston Public Gardens on the way to and from school.  The Gardens are a lovely place with beautiful flowers, a pond, walking paths, and musicians.  Walking through the Gardens literally adds only five minutes to our walk. However, for much of the year I told the kids we were in a hurry and couldn’t take the longer route to school.

I have been denying my desire to get somewhere more quickly, to stay on schedule, by walking through the Gardens each day this month.  Such a little thing, but it has made a world of difference.  The kids and I have had better conversations.  We have watched the season unfurl in the buds and the blossoms.  We are calmer because of this small encounter with creation.  Completely worth it.

2.Saying “Yes” to Silly Photo Shoots

Because I like my evening routine so much, I have in the past felt resentful toward anything that caused me to deviate from it.  This included general goofiness from my children.  (Wow.  That sounds so awful.  Lord, forgive me.)

I have been denying my desire to “get through” my routine quickly by letting my kids take silly photos together.  They love this!  They all enjoy dressing up, pretending, and being general goofballs.  Just a five minute photo shoot can lighten the mood.  Plus, it gives us some great pictures to send to grandparents!

3. Saying “Yes” to Play Dates

Last Friday, Andrew was invited on a play date by one of his classmates.  A small group of boys were invited to go to a park and to the Museum of Science, then back to a boy’s house for pizza, Legos, and Wii.  Basically a nine-year-old boy’s dream play date!

However, my first instinct was to say no.  It would mean that Andrew would need to be picked up in an area of Boston I wasn’t familiar with at 9:00 on a Friday night.  Friday nights are my big “introvert nights” where I watch a movie and drink tea all by myself after the kids go to bed and while my husband works on his schoolwork.  I didn’t want to give up my quiet time to drive in Boston and find parking in a strange place (y’all, I am terrible at parallel parking!).

Instead, I denied myself and let me son go on a play date he will never forget.  Yes, I missed out on a movie.  And, yes, I got lost once or twice on the way.  But, he had such a wonderful time and connected more deeply with boys from his class.  Now I can’t believe that I almost denied him that opportunity because of my selfishness.

What About You?

Reading back over this post, I am pretty embarrassed.  I seem pretty selfish and petty.  But, maybe that is the point.  We are all selfish in so many ways.  That is why we need to be reminded over and over by Christ to, “Deny yourself, take up your cross daily and follow me.”

How will you deny yourself today?